Monthly Archives: July 2011

It all started last night while having dinner with Dan’s sister and family.  We got our niece her tatoo – came out real pretty, she was so happy and loved it.   Went to the dinner afterwards, to celebrate Daniels birthday – and Bang I started to have a bad sugar low -although we caught it, all the way home I felt sick and shaky, and  that was how I went to bed – feeling like I had the shit kicked out me. 

Woke this morning feeling like crap, but I must have done something in my sleep – or may slept on my pump……the pain in my right groin and hip……..it is so bad.   I tried to forget about it and do my stuff that needed to be done.- but it kills to walk, sit or move….and then before lunch I had another real bad low…..of course it is my fault and Dan was not happy.   Like I want to feel like shit and out of it.(out of my mind- not remembering)…okay – it is my fault.   Finally got it undercontrol, went to mall with Dan to pick something up and the next thing I know, I find myself sitting at a table with Dan in front of me saying,  do you feel better, keep drinking and eating this……another real bad low – Dan said my sugar was down to 30 again.  Don’t remember how I got there, all I know is the pain in my groin felt like it magnified about a 100 time.   I just wanted to cry and still do now that I am home……between that pain and the pain head/stomach – I truly wish someone would just put me out of my misery…….this truly sucks.  I just want the day to be over, and hopefully tomorrow is better.   I am so fearful for what is to come, will I have another problem (not that I will know) and  I will be a burden to Dan tonite while  he tries to sleep.   I just don’t get it………IT REALLY SUCKS BIG TIME AND I AM SO DONE!!!!!!

Another beautiful day, I just wish I did not feel so ulgy.  I did not sleep well, and this morning my sugar was off…….I can not figure it out……especially when I do everything right and it still has problems…..I feel like my  body has another person inside with its own mind and agenda.   Anyway,….worked out and did some stuff around the house which I could not do yesterday….(by the way made it thru  yesterday…..it was not so bad).   Meeting
Dan’s sister and family for our nephew Daniels birthday and to take our niece Nina for her tatoo……(her birthday and graduation gift).   It should be fun…..I know Dan is excited!!!!  We don’t get to see them as much as we would like,  them living in CT, and our busy-difference in schedules.   Looking forward to a nice time with them.

Woke this morning feeling like crap,  my sugar was real low this morning and it seems almost impossible to get it up and shake the shakes….Ugh!!!

The weather looks the way I feel.  Hopefully, the heat wave has broken.  Dan and I have alot of running around today…..Hopefully good things will happen this week. I can only hope.  I will keep you posted as the day goes on.  

Well, the day did get better at least for making memories   and the sun came out……My nieces came up to go to the  pool…..they are such good girls and so appreciatative (not sure I spelt that right, anyway)…..they just love their Uncle Dan….and being in the water.  It also gave me time to hang with them and let Dan have some time to himself too – was able to run some errands, while I was with my sister….(although, I was a little nervous,,,,,sugar was very low – I tried everything to get it up in a discreet way- just was not absorbing anything I ate……probably why I am still feeling shaky and like crap),,,,,,just hope it does not effect my sleep……cause right now I want to leave my body,,,,,everything hurts and I feel like shit.   Anyway tomorrow is another day,…..it is Wednesday – Dan’s parents.

Sorry I have not written, but this week was a living hell,,,,,,,literally.   The heat just killed me,  between my normal lows, and usual sick feeling, my brain was scrambled…like an egg.   I definitely do not do well in really bad heat, especially the three digits.  I did enjoy spending the time in the pool with my sister, nieces and Dan……that is always a pleasure – but it was just to hot.   Went to the pool Saturday for only a little while – it was just so miserable……water great……but I looked like a prune….when I came out and I just felt horrible….only place to be was inside and that was warm……I know I should not complain…..I will take the heat over the cold any day……but there is only so much (clothes you can take off – without getting into trouble or arrested)…..and the way I look…..more covering this body is better…..ahhhh! to be skinny and young again – and not care.  Not an option here – that is for sure.  A bathing  is scary enough…sorry for those I have scarred.

Dan and I, met up with our good  friends Jon and Kelly, grabbed a bite to eat.  It was so nice to see them and catch  up, we laughed and had great conversation.  We don’t  get to hang as we like,  every one is busy, but true friends can always pick up like yesterday,  I love that about them, they are truly good people and a cute couple.  Then we came home and I have to work out and finish up some chores…..I am so wiped from the heat, I could go to bed already and it is only 8:15 – not liking how this heat is making me feel tired and old……..I cannot imagine how the elderly can do it.  Well tomorrow is another day,,,,,Lots do with Dan……Looking forward to a cooler day.  Fingers, toes, arms, you name it = it is crossed.  Good Nite.

This weekend was a great weekend,…..Saturday went to Good friends Chuck and Donna’s house, and spent the whole day by their pool, cooked out, laughed and just has a really nice time…..we don’t get to always  hang out.  But when we do, it is like we spoke the day before……I love them so much, just great friends.  
Then this morning we went to the pool and just hung out, made a nice fish dinner and eat outside…..going to take a walk and water neighbors flowers….then in for the night (maybe go food shopping depends).  Hopefully, I will get a good nights sleep to start a fresh and new week.   It would be nice not to have any sugar lows or highs….the ups and downs are really making me feel lousy and tired.   I am very irritiable.  Just not a happy camper…….I hope it gets better and rollercoaster stops.

Woke this  morning feeling my usual – just have a real bad stomach ache…..went to dinner with my sister and nieces…..I had some bread with dinner….Will never do that again – my stomach is killing me.   Anyway, no pain – not living, sad but true.  I am alive…..lovely.

I  already worked out, did laundry, and straighten up….. Dan and I have some running around to do.  I plan on making a nice fish dinner……maybe grill some Salmon.  Then just relax and go for a walk afterwards.   Hope the weather is nice, so we can go to the pool tomorrow.   Continue a nice weekend……It was a great start    with spending the day with my nieces and sister,…..all day at the pool, nice dinner and lots of laughs over ice cream…..it was just a great day…..Thank you, Dan – you are a great Husband and a wonderful uncle and brother-in-law.

Wednesday was very Sad,,,,,,it makes me sad and depressed every Wednesday after spending time with Dan’s parents. I don’t want to get old……or at least not too where I cannot move around and be happy with my life partner till the end.  It kills me to see Dan try to so hard to bring happiness to his mom, and it is never good enough.   I never want to end up that way.

Well it is beautiful out and Erika and my nieces are coming to spend the day by the pool.   They love being with their Uncle Dan.  So it will be a day of sun.

Well it is extremely hot today…..A good day to plant oneself in the pool….But not an option for me.  Have a busy day running around with Dan and truthfully I am dragging.  I did not sleep well last night.  I had a sugar low (did not tell Dan because it would have been mad, since I slept in the other room, could not get comfortable and he was snoring)…..So between the headache from the low, not sleeping in my bed, I am not the happiest camper.   But I am not complaining, because I did have a nice weekend – Dan and I were busy,  we went to the pool on Saturday, did weekend chores, I sat an Open House with Dan…..we food shopped and went to the Movies…..It was date night – we saw the movie “Horrible bosses”……..it was so funny.   We have alot of following up to do with the   people from the Open House – hopefully someone will make an offer.  Plan on going for a walk after dinner –  dinning outside on deck……maybe – all depends if it cools down a bit – right now  it is way to hot…..you could fry an egg on the deck.   After walk, I plan to do my second work out for the day and hit the bed for a good nights sleep.  I definitely need it.  Keeping my fingers crossed.

I just want to dedicate this blog to my wonderful husband….not only  is he a terrific husband – He is a saint and excellent son.  After the  day by his parents, I give him so much credit and truly admire him for the love and patience he has for his parents.  I know they are old, but the patience he has with them, especially with his mother is amazing.  He takes the nastiness and meaness with stride……It kills me to see how nasty and unappreciative she is all to often, and Dan takes it…….I don’t know how he does it……You are amazing and a great son……I could not do what you do, without loosing my cool and yelling back.  I just wish your mom was nicer to you……you do not deserve the way you are spoken to or treated, no matter what she has done for you.  I just had to let you know and tell you that I see all the good things you do and appreciate everything you do………I love you so much….you do so much for so many and never ask for anything in return and all to often are never thanked…….So I am saying “Thank you!   I love you.”   Now I feel better.

Well, it is absolutely beautiful out, blue skies, sunny and warm.  I did not sleep so well, and woke with this terrible headache and big knot in my stomach.  Heading down to Dan’s parents…….He will be happy to see them and do things around their house….I think today he is planting flowers for them……He have fun doing that.   I on the other hand will sit outside and get some sun.    I wish I could go out by myself and go to some of the stores, but can’t so I will have to entertain myself, make calls to parents, clients and do computer work……thank god for facebook…..it passes the time.   Hopefully everyone will be in a good mood, and the day will be pleasant…….the last few times it has not been, all lot of yelling, just really unpleasant.  I don’t want to get old, and be unhappy and miserable. 

I want to spend my last days happy and enjoying every minute with Dan in a pleasant way…….not mad and yelling.   Hopefully if I last that long, I will still have my mind and be able to go for walks with Dan, and be laughing…..(I can not imagine it being anything different but fun and exciting…..living for the moment).  Well, I hope today is a good visit with Dan’s parents…….I know it depresses him to know  or should I say,,,, He does not know how much time he actually has with them.