Monthly Archives: March 2010

Yes! The Sun Is Out

Finally the sun has come out. Woke up this morning with that terrible stomach pain from the night before and I feel as if I have not slept in days…..the good thing is the night was uneventful, no seizures…Thank God. We to Dan’s parents….On Wednesday we go down to Toms River, where they live to take care of them, do shopping, errands, clean and play games with them (visit).
This trip was a good one….his mother was in much better spirits and the father was happy because we took him to get a hair cut. It is so touching to see how much patience and love Dan has for them…..I mean, I know what he does for me, but to see him with his parents makes me fall in love with him all over again, he is just a good person and so loving and patient. I am one lucky girl. So the day went well and got home and just relaxed. Tomorrow is a big day….have errands, have to put out more signs for Dan’s campaign and have Town council meeting at night…..want to be able to be there for Dan……just hope my body cooperates……Going to bed so I can hopefully get a good nights rest for tomorrow.

Rain Rain Go Away

To fill you in on the later part of yesterday, Dan took me to get my nails done….it was a success no issues (seizures) for a change. I felt bad that Dan had to sit there….took longer because I got the old man, who just takes forever and then that makes me upset, because Dan has wait there….he says he doesn’t mind but I still feel bad. Made dinner, cleaned up and watch some TV…..went to bed but felt really sick….did not mentioned to Dan….did not want him to worry more than usual….actually had some stomach/tossed my cookies twice in the middle of the nite….at least I didn’t make alot of noise and wake Dan.

Well a new day, it is raining again….I think I am going to build an Ark…..I need the sun.
I can tell this weather is eating at Dan…he is internally freaking out about his signs, blowing and tipping because of the rain and wind. I try to re-assure him that it is worthless to try fixing them until after Wednesday….weather to be sunny and nice from then on, but it does not matter…he has no control. Got alot done today despite the weather……I still don’t feel right….I have real bad pains in my stomach that is actually making my head and back hurt…what else is new… sugar has been half and half today….I caught a low coming on my own…that was a first……thank god….did not want to hear it…..went down as low as 39 just before dinner….got it up and no one knew the wiser…..Made the meals for tomorrow to go to Dan’s Parents……got things done early so I can watch American Idol for change like a normal person………Hopefully tomorrow will be sunny and pleasant… bad moments, conversation or issues.

Good Day For Dan

I am so upset that I could not stay last night,,,,I hate my stomach. Dan went back to the council meeting and apparently stirred the pot when he got to ask the council to not take benefits ( he is so passionate about people taking advantage of somthing they don’t deserve). I am so happy things went well and he feels good about everything today….He truly deserves it, he is so passionate about this election.
We are going to put more signs out and run errands…..just hope I can keep up with him….my stomach is killing me, tried to exercise….will do the ball later….I did the ab flyer to get me motivated. Actually, I don’t know which hurts more… head or stomach….but either way I got alot to do, and don’t want to rain on Dan’s sunny day… to you later.

Day At Doctors

Well, spent the Day in the City at the doctor – Dr. Castro for Dan and myself. I love him….he always takes so much time with me and Dan……He wants Dan to have more test done on his heart for blockages and as for me…what can he really say…more test and monitor the situation…watch the liver and kidney levels…nothing gets better.

Raced home from city for ballot selection for Dan’s campaign….he picked 5……good thing with his long last name, he will still stand out. Then when to office and then came home and made dinner…….Dan’s favorite….fish/cod and spinach and salad….was good. Then went to council/budget meeting. Went to support Dan as he asked the council some questions…..but the meeting was running late…I was very disappointed in myself, because I couldn’t be there, when He asked his questions….I am sure Dan caused some fear with his apponents ( I think I spelt that right)…..waiting for him to come home and fill me in…..I wish I could of stayed just felt so sick, my sugar was high and my stomach was killing me….I am going to lay down and wait for him….I told him to wake me, if I am asleep when he comes home…..I am so proud of him….I know he will do well and I hope all his hard work gets him a seat on the council.

Better Day

Woke up this morning, nice and sunny. Despite the bad nite….Dan and had a nice talk, and we are going to work at our differences over giving me more freedom,,,,,,starting the day on a positive note……Spent day with Dan’s parents….went shopping for them, got out and enjoyed the sun. Going to have dinner with them and head home.

Sitting And Thinking

As I am sitting here, thinking about the course of events that transpired tonight, that lead to the blow out with Dan…..and which I am truly sorry for……Although he says I am selfish…..and so be it……I feel it would be so easy to be selfish and just give up and crawl up and die…..but I don’t…..and he forgets everyday I get up and try to be aware and willing to go everywhere and do everything he needs to do…..okay sometimes I cause some speed bumps….not because I mean to….but on the most part I am always there to be by his side and he everything he wants and wants to do…….that is not being selfish, just as he is there for me…….he has choices and opportunities to chose,…..I don’t, no one tells him he can’t or he does not have to ask permission……I don’t have a choice.

Really Did It This Time

Well, I really did it this time, I pushed Dan to the limit…..I ticked him off so bad….. I was bitchy,,,,but did not mean to be, I just want to be able to be able to make discussions on my own… what I want, when I want…..and I don’t think it is being selfish….
But apparently, I am selfish and just don’t get it…….well maybe I don’t……but just once I wish someone saw things from my side. How it feels to be 45 years old and not able to go or do anything without being questioned……if I say something silly or even drop something on the floor by accident… be questioned or looked at if something is wrong with me. It sucks and takes a toll, and yes I am grateful he cares and I appreciate all he does and gives up for me…..but I would like him to be in my shoes once to see how it feels to be watch all the time and questioned how you feel? are you ok?

I tried to apologize and yes I ticked him off….so I guess I deserve the silent treatment.I just want him and everyone around me to know I am forever grateful to him and the sacrifices he makes. He is my rock and my love and soul mate…….And I am sorry for pushing him to the limit……I love him so much. I hope he reads my blog tonight and sees how much I love him.

Not Much Sleep

Well last night was a success……no seizures, that was a good thing. Now if I did not have to get up 10 to 12 times, and wake Dan every time, (he has become such a light sleeper….I move he asks if I am okay)….I feel bad, sometimes I feel bad for everything..I disturb his sleep, his days (freedom of going about)….it really stinks. I sometimes wonder, why the big man upstairs is so cruel?
I finally got done with breakfast cleanup and worked out…..I love my big ball…and doing sit-ups on it…..about the only thing I have control of…..waiting for Dan to get out of the shower, so I can get in and we can start the day……Have lots to do.

Day Finally Over

Yes, the day is finally over. It rain all day which was good for me, because I was able to keep up with Dan and the errands we had to get done, like go to the bank, get the tire fixed on the truck, stop by one of Dans listings (estate sale….get it cleaned out), go to office, and go see a seller for a price reduction. Not so good for Dan, because I know he is really stressing about getting his campaign signs out, but he really needed the break too, especially after being up all night taking care of me,,,,,he needed to rest and not be putting out signs on no sleep and in the rain. Hopefully, we can get some done tomorrow, for his sake. He was exhausted, I could tell, but he never would say it…..I hate that he has to go through the things he does with me……it is just not fair, it is my problem and he has to suffer.

Well, I tried to pull my weight, he went to bed early and I put the price reduction in the computer for him, tried to help out. It is about 11:30 and I finally finished with emails, cleaning up from dinner…..wanted to work out, but it is going to have wait till tomorrow…..Hopefully, tonite will be uneventful and I (we) can get a good nite sleep and be more energetic in the morning. I can only hope.

First Day Of Spring

Well it is definitely not as nice as the original first day. I woke up this morning, in different clothes then I went to bed in……yes I had a seizure last night. Apparently it was bad, and my angel, Dan got me into the shower and cleaned up…..I don’t remember a thing. I guess that is good and bad. I must comend Dan on his fashion sense,…he is getting better; at least this time I match and I smell good and clean. I would be so lost without him.
I am so mad, I wanted to do so much today, since yesterday was not a good day recovering from the seizure I had the night before – which I don’t remember….So I actually have lost 2 days…..I hate it!
But I am trying to get ready for today…..I feel like my head was blown off and every muscle in my body feels like an 800 lb has stomped on me. Dan is great, he says take my time/no rush…..but I already lost so much time that I don’t get back. Hopefully, the day will get better as it progress…..a new day has come and new adventures are a coming.