Tag Archives: Mood

Just Want To Say Thanks

I just want to say Thank you to a very special man in my life.  This man is my hero,  my inspiration and best friend, he is my rock and lover.  Thank you for making mothers day special…….I can not tell you how much I love you – there are no words that can express how much.  And although I may not act it, and get frustrated, and take it out on you…….I truly appreciate all you do for me and the patience you have when I am not so nice (when I am not me)…..I just wanted to say that,  every day is special  because of you.  I love you and thanks again.

Bad Ending To A Nice Evening

Well, so much for a nice evening with husband and sister.  After I posted my blog, I straighten up a little and went to bed.  Next thing I know, I woke in the morning with a really bad headache, every bone in my body hurt and a horrible pain in my stomach; on my night stand were two empty glucose bottles, and I was not in the same closes as I went to bed in, and my hair  was in ringlets (which is from sweating so bad)……that  was a sure sign there was a problem during the night.  Of course I do not remember anything, just feel the aftermath.  I can also tell by - Dan is very quite and distant…….he did not get much sleep I’m sure and I probably gave him a hard time drinking the glucose.   I feel horrible, physically, mentally unstable, and emotionally I am a wreck.  It kills me that Dan has to take care of me and I  put him thru this…..all I can say is I am sorry.  He never once said to me anything went wrong or what happened he just did what he needed to to help me and that was that and acted like nothing happened. I really want to say to him……”just let me go, don’t help me…..please”.  But that is another wish, along with winning the lottery that will never come true.  I can only hope but I know Dan won’t help me with that wish that one is in my hands.   Dan if I have not said it for the millionth time, I AM SO SORRY AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!Have a lot to do today, although  I’m feeling  shakey  – have errands and appts. to go on with Dan and hopefully come home with out any problems and relax.  Wish me luck.

Miserable And Rainy Monday

Well, if there was a day to stay in bed and get some extra sleep, today was the day. It is miserable out, chilly, gloomy and wet. I other hand still have not gotten the sleep I need….again another night of sugar lows and no memory of it, I know this because Dan filled me in on the details, besides my body feeling like crap and every bone/joint aching. I am really getting discussed with my situation. Again earlier in the day, I had another problem, while out with Dan running errands…don’t remember even doing some of the things. I feel horrible for Dan,,,,I hate that I am such a burden, I wish I could just go somewhere and hide….this way I can’t be afraid of hurting anyone, myself, or embarrassing Dan. It just sucks. (I had to get that off my chest, my minute of feeling sorry for myself is done – it is what it is and there is nothing I can do but dealt with it and move on. Just once in awhile, I would like to catch a break).
Spoke to my parents in New Mexico….tried to change their mind about driving here for the holidays, trying to persuade them to fly out. Need I say anymore – that did not go over so well….I am going to work harder on it, I have a funny feeling this is a battle I am not going to win…can’t hurt to try!!!!!
Made a real nice fish dinner with scallops, cod, salad and yellow squash, it was quite good – I remember that, and actually making it….amazing. Going to the store with Dan to pick up a speaker and then come home to work out. Hopefully by then I will be so tired that tonight I will sleep without any surprises…PLEASE!!!!! lol I really mean it…..I need to feel a little better, I hate feeling so miserable and depressed,,,,,things are bad enough. Well bye for now -

Starting Fresh

To all my friends and followers, I hope you like my new site that Dan has set up for me,,,,,it is easier to get into and I am excited to get back to blogging…..I had stopped for awhile due to not feeling well, but I am back and looking forward to sharing and hearing from you too!

In A Funk

Dan is trying his best to get me out of this funk……He is working so hard at real estate, and all the other ventures he owns so we can get caught up and be able to go away on vaction  with piece of mind. He booked our  yearly St Maarten trip today to put a smile on my face. He know that is about the only thing that would do it. I can hardly wait!. I’m worried about Dan not getting sleep with my night health problems and all the projects he is taking on. He really needs a vaction just to do nothing.

Just Not In Good Spirts Or Health

I haven’t been feeling that well and just couldn’t find the brain power to sit down and write anything in last few weeks…..I’ll pull it together soon and get back to writing daily…I promise! Summers gone and pool is closed :( It seems that the older you get the faster time flys. Well We are getting ready to go to check out our seats at the new JETS stadium. Hope getting out will cheer me up a bit.

Healing

Well, last night was not easy…..3 lows during the night, so I am extremely tired and feeling like crap. It is beautiful out, so I am going to try to go by the pool, thank god it is not to hot, I can’t go in the pool or have my arm in the sun. I will only stay an 1 hour or so, have lunch with Dan there, socialize and go home and get showered. Taking the opportunity to get alot of little errands done in the next 2 days, since this coming week is going to be extremely busy with JETS pre-season game, getting listings ready, My sister Kathleen’s wedding, Pasta Party, etc…..busy, busy.
Had a nice dinner with Dan at the Steak House, came home and went for a walk. Still feeling crappy and uneasy…weird. I’m hoping for a good night sleep…..really need it. I am (along with Dan – that I will not have a bad seizure and hurt/ damage my arm and the tattoo – that would be a complete disaster)……I love it- it looks so good, and it will be even better when it is healed….I don’t like putting cream on it, messy and gets all over….By Monday, it should be out of the danger zone. Well, at least it gives me something to think about, a change, which hurts more my head, stomach or arm. I am such a mess, but I am alive and have people around me that I love and live for……what more can one ask for…..NOTHING AT ALL.
Yes, Dan’s horse just won, I am so happy for him,,,,,this is a good sign….Maybe tonight is going to be good.

I’m Excited!

The big day is finally here, I am so excited….I just wish I felt better….but I am not going to let my every day aches and pains stop me from getting my tattoo. I have always wanted this type and it is even more special because Dan designed it for me and it is one of a kind….And we are each getting one at the same time. I am a little nervous, but I love the work of the artist – Gary, and I love the place Shotsies in Wayne…..Just really great people.

I hope I can get through the entire night without any lows or seizures….that would be a complete disaster for both Dan and myself.

I love it……Thank you Dan for capturing what I wanted in your creation and Thanks Gary for doing a great job…..Can’t wait to it is all healed…..Love it. Actually the pain, made me forget the usual pain I have everyday….even if it was for a little time. Next is a good nights sleep and it will have been a almost perfect day…..I shouldn’t say that,….It was perfect…just being with the man I love and doing such big thing as getting inked together.

Need More Then 24 Hours Today

The last couple of nights and days have been rough for me……I can not remember the last time I had a good night sleep, without tossing, getting up, sugar lows, sweats, or even remember going to bed. I am hoping that the heat stops, and it cools down, and then I might feel better….just have been feeling really weird, different than ususal. I just can’t put my finger on it, I am hoping it is this bad heat and it goes away (back to the normal shitty feeling…this is scaring me…I don’t want to tell Dan, because he really start to worry more….I just don’t feel myself….thoughts are scattered, depressed and ache more than normal..). Dan knows something is up….decided to take this week off from visiting parents to give me a break (just wish I felt good to enjoy it – but it did help). Did alot of catching up – have alot of errands to run and matters to take care of in the next couple of days. Maybe if nice we can go for a dip in pool…..have not been there in about 2 weeks…..,just busy, busy, running around….also Dan go not go swimming and in sun because of Tattoo….He out of the danger zone now…..It looks great….He designed my next one….He is so talented….I love it,,,,,,can’t wait to go.
Just want to get a good nite sleep….no surprises….I am feeling weird again…Hot then cold…I gotta go….I think my sugar is getting off…Having a hard time putting thoughts and words together…(that was a good 10 min. try…this stinks…who knows maybe it isn’t happening, better go check…don’t want Dan to know)….nite!!!

Bad Week! Not In Good Mood

Sorry I have not been blogging,,,,,just had a bad couple of days and another bad night and morning…..Figures it is beautiful out and perfect pool weather, and I am a mess. I feel like I have been ran over several times and stabbed repeatedly in the head and stomach. This really s&@*ks….I just wanted to go to the pool. We have so many things we were suppose to do, go to a birthday party, shop, visit family and where are we going no where…..I am sitting here, having a hard enough time getting my thoughts together to blog…..but I guess the good thing is I am still here to talk about it….wonderful. I feel bad for poor Dan. He has no sleep the last few nights and is stuck with me….Well now that I vented, I think I am going to lay down, maybe I will feel a little bit better, to get outside for a bit and feel the sun on my skin. Just wanted to let everyone know I am unfortunately alive.