Feeling uneasy and scared…

Sometimes I just wish I could find a big rock and hide under it…..and leave all my fears and concerns there when I was ready to come out. Lately, I just wake with this tremendous knot in my stomach….just so worried about Dan, his health (heart and blood pressure) and his whole attitude on life and his mental/emotional status…. he is under so much pressure which is just not good. He just seems so depressed and distant…Everyone thinks he can handle everything, because he is always happy, helpful and never complains…..WELL, HE IS HUMAN TOO!!!. I tell him I am worried about him and his well-being, he tells me he is fine and not to worry, but I know better……I feel helpless and responsible,…..it really sucks. It is just not fair – I wish I was healthy enough to work and help out. I just hope Dan knows how much I love him, and appreciate all his sacrifices, I just feel my love and support is not enough…. I want a job, or better yet to hit the lottery just once, and I would get him a great horse and I would give back to help others……cause I know how much it sucks!!!!!!!  But most of all, the rewards would be something the two of us would love and a dream we both have.   Just guess I needed to vent,,,,,,Maybe tomorrow will be better.

One Response to Feeling uneasy and scared…

  1. Kris,
    “Sometimes I just wish I could find a big rock and hide under it…..and leave all my fears and concerns there when I was ready to come out.” I couldn’t agree more!” Lately, I just wake with this tremendous knot in my stomach…” This is how I have felt all week worried about what is to come and how I will be able to handle things. Everyone thinks you are a rock because you have been through the same deal so many times before and assume it doesn’t bother you. Well, guess what, IT DOES ! You are VERY lucky to have Dan and I truly understand your concerns about him and his health issues. When you win the lottery, will you remember me? I am afraid of losing everything right now and don/t know where to turn. Sorry, but I, too, had to vent a bit. Just got off the phone with the Disability people. UGH

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