Nothing Good

Things just seem to be getting worse, now Dan has no insurance…..he gave it up – so we could pay for the medical supplies.   It is getting to the point that trying to have a positive attitude is getting harder and harder.  I look into Dans eyes and all I see is stress and  worry, I am so afraid that he is just going to explode.  Well the day is crappy weather wise, and as for me and how I feel, don’t bother , I am ready for the day to be done and it just started.  Just so worried  what we are going to do.

I am sitting here, and all I want to do is cry……I am so scared and worried about everything, but most of all Dan.   He is trying so hard to keep things together, but I think we are at the end.  It kills me to see the saddness in his eyes.  I think of all we have been through together, probably more bad things in the last 10 years together, then most experience in a life time, but there is only so much one can take.  And I think we are at our end…….there is nothing left.  Dan I am so sorry for all this.

I told Dan not to read my blog anymore, because I do not want to upset him…….so hopefully he listens to me for once,  I do not want him to feel any worse than he already does.  But just in case he does not listen to my request……………DAN, I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING A BURDEN TO YOU, I WISH MORE THAN  ANYTHING I WAS NORMAL AND NOT SO SICK, AND COULD MAKE THINGS EASIER……..I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND TRULY THANKFULL YOU ARE MY HUSBAND.

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