Woke this morning feeling terrible, but I put my big girl pants on and sucked it up. I managed to get ready to go with Dan into the office and pretend everything was just peachy, when all I really wanted to do is go back to bed or stay home and die.
Of course I get my winter clothes out of storage to change over and the weather is back to being warm again, it figures….but at least it is sunny and beautiful out. Not looking forward to tomorrow at all…..It is the memorial service for Jack. I know it is going to be extremely emotional and sad….I know I am not going to be able to keep it together at all…..but I have to try for Pat and for Dan….(I know Dan is going to talk about Jack and share some funny stories (Jack would like that)….but inside he willing be carrying a heavy heart filled with sadness and pain, like myself. I can not believe he is gone and this is a final goodbye. It is eating me up inside. Jack touched so many peoples lives, especially Dan’s.
On a good note and something to look forward too, we have the Jets game on Sunday…..we were suppose to tailgate and use our new grill, but that might be put on hold, it all depends on how Dan is feeling…since he has a bad sinus infection and bronchitus. We are also going to see my sisters and nieces and nephew for Bella’s birthday. I am so looking forward to seeing them, I have not been able to hang with them the last few months with all the shit going on in my life……being sick, the accident, the passing of Dan’s mom, getting the House fixed and ready for sale in Toms River, and everything else. I miss them a lot and enjoy just being around them.
Today just seems like it is dragging, 5:00 cannot come soon enough. I just want to go home change into my comfy clothes and veg and do absolutely nothing (like that will ever happen, someone has to make dinner and clean up afterwards…..guess who? Yeap, that would be me). I need to get myself together for tomorrow also……so upset about….I get tears in my eyes everytime I think about him.