Another day of extreme stomach pains……not as bad as yesterday….but still there, especially when I eat. I wish I did not have to eat anything…..but I have no choice due to my sugar levels……this is really upsetting me….”HELLO UPSTAIRS CAN YOU GIVE ME A BREAK, I DON’T THINK I AM ASKING FOR MUCH…..GEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!
Went into the office with Dan early…..so today has been long and seems to be dragging……I cannot wait to go home. I am in such a bad mood, I am so sick of this pain…..I cannot stand myself or being around me……I hate walking around like everything is peachy, when all I want to do is cry. But it is what it is……hopefully tomorrow will be better. Keeping my fingers crossed!!!!!! It could be worse…..no sense bitching….no one wants to hear it. So….. P O S I T I VE Thoughts.
I woke this morning…..feeling worse than yesterday morning……I can not describe my stomach pains…..it is causing my head to hurt and I feel like I am going to toss my cookies if I open my mouth to talk. I thought it would pass as the morning went on…..made Dan his breakfast, cleaned up and made the bed……I just feel worse, I can not go into the office…..I am so mad, I hate giving in, I just cannot do it. So Dan left for work and I laid down on the couch for about an hour. After an hour I decided enough is enough….it is beautiful out….I am not going to stay inside and miss out on the beautiful weather. I will clean the house (do something constructive with time home and reward myself with an 1-2 hours by the pool as a reward)…..thinking positive.
I managed to clean the whole house, I am a happy camper, I just love a clean house….smells so fresh and all the dust bunnies are gone. Moving slowly, I put my bathing suit on (really should not be wearing a two piece….but who cares) and went to the pool. Ran into a neighbor there…..caught up with her and just laid by the pool, soaking up the sun, while grunting the stomach pains. It was so hot, I kept going into the pool to cool off which was actually refreshing. I think I feel asleep for a bit, until awaken by some splashing and screaming rug rats. I went home, showered, and decided to get a mani/pedi to fix the damage I did while cleaning earlier. After getting my nails done I came home and made a nice fish dinner. I could barely eat it……I literally forced it down…..my stomach was still killing me. Cleaned up the dishes and made lunch for the next day…..I am done for the evening…..planted my big ass on the couch and became a couch potatoe for the rest of the evening. I hope tomorrow will be better.
Woke this morning just feeling horrible…..which is normal, but I usually push myself and get pass the pain. I try to think of the positive, put a smile on my face, and let nothing stand in my way…….but today it has not been easy….I am trying, and it is upsetting me, cause I hate giving into the pain….but all I want to do is crawl back into bed……just shoot me now. I just want the day to end already…..and it just started!!!!!! This truly sucks! I went into the office with Dan, I am already counting the hours to go home. It is going to be a very long day and I am in a miserable mood..