Monthly Archives: July 2010

A Dan Day!

Very excited for Dan, he got his tattoo that he wanted and the words he lives by,…..It came out real nice “It is not the cards you’re dealt in life, it’s how you play them” (I feel special – because it has meaning to us, and the life experiences we share – Dan is a good man.) I am not feeling well at all…I have been pushing myself the last couple of days / have not said much to Dan…my head and stomach have been a consistant 9.5 in pain that just will lighten up/ making me very irritable (sugar high) which my doctor has order to change the dosage and strategy….Just want to go to bed and wake up for it to be Thursday. Going for a walk with Dan, already made my meals for tomorrow….On that note, Looking forward to Thursday morning and getting a new start……Hopefully I will feel a tiny bit better….any bit.

Back To The Drawing Board

Did not sleep good…..felt sick to my stomach.
Woke feeling real crappy. The good news is it is beautiful out, and very warm. Today I start a new game plan from the specialist, not that is going to make a difference, but I am trying to be positive and I will try anything to preserve my mind and not have so many seizures. Even if it means checking my sugar more during the day and going back on the insulin pod….(not I have the pod on my arm, I have to change it every three days – good thing it gives my arms a break from the injections….now it goes thru a port/site)….This will be a trial for a week or so…..Keeping my hopes high. Worked out and it felt good (the only thing I seem to have control of). Have lots of errands to run with Dan and then a bunch of houses to show with Dan tonite….early dinner…then rush,rush. Hopefully no surprises inbetween.

I Must Smile

Did not sleep well, (no seizures for a change, just had a terrible stomach ache and could not get comfortable no matter how I tried.) It is sunny and warm out, another hot one…pushed myself to get ready today, had alot of things to do….since tomorrow is Wednesay and nothing here gets done. Had to go with Dan on appointments to show client homes in Ridgewood and Wyckoff, and get things together for Wednesdays listing/rental appointment.
I am exhausted, I just got done making the meals for tomorrow/Dan’s parents and tried to exercise a little….bad headache and belly ache….what else is new….The specialist called have to call him tomorrow…probably wants to discuss blood test,,,and what the next group of test are going to be…always something to look forward to. I wish could go to sleep, and wake up Thursday, morning refreshed and relaxed, and with a positive outlook…(I try everyweek, to get thru Happy Hump Day with a smile, and it just never happens, I just feel sad and upset….I always come out at the end of day as Mrs. Grumpy….I hate when I feel/am that way….But who knows maybe this time it will be different…..can only hope).

Crazy…Crazy…& more Crazy

The last few days have been nothing but running all over and crazy. The other night I got a call from the doctor/specialist (the one I missed the appointment), he had an opening on Thursday morning early….I was so excited to get in, excepted the appointment, and went to bed. Well, of course nothing goes smoothly with me…..I have another bad seizure (bad,bad) lasted to about 4:30-5:00 in the morning and I had to get up by 6:00….This was not good, I forced myself to get ready, I don’t know how I did it, but I did…I just wanted to die….I felt so sick and beat up…And poor Dan he was also running on no sleep. The good thing was the doctor was very nice, took about 2 hours to speak with me,he was very honest…said he did not have the answers and never had any one with so many situations…..but he was going to help the best he could…..So of course I had to go for blood test….and more test to come…..Did I expect anything else….just the same old thing ….but I have to be fair and give him an opportunity…..I JUST WANT TO FEEL BETTER….NO PAIN, NO SEIZURES, LAPS OF MEMORY…JUST SOMEWHAT NORMAL After the appointment went for lunch and people watched a little….but we were so tired just came home and took a nap. Ate dinner and went for a small walk and went to bed for the nite….
Didn’t sleep well at all..
Woke to a great day (weather wise….did errands, got blood test….went with Dan for his meeting with partners)….still feeling like crap….pain level is a consistant 10 for the last 2 days…
Everything sucks…

Trying To be Positive

So much thinking and being positive… is crappy, I feel miserable, and today was just an all around horrible day, and I am so glad it is over and I will say no more. But on a positive note, the doctor/specialist that I missed the appointment with last week due to my seizure ….called and can see me tomorrow, now I just have to pray nothing goes wrong tonite or tomorrow….. so I can see him. I am going to try to work out and go to bed….Have to get up very early to be in the city to see him…….One good thing, finally.


Well, the minute I opened my eyes, I knew the day was going to be bad. My head felt like I had been hit with a sledge hammer and my stomach been ripped out, along with every muscle in my body hurt, even the hair on my arms. I was sleeping sideways (horizontal, was not dressed and with the comfort from living room on me) and Dan was at the other end in different direction. I was afraid to ask……the first words from my mouth was “I am sorry, and what happened?”, I already knew, what I was about to hear was not good, and sure enough I was right. I had a bad seizure late in the night that lasted to early morning….I could barely move. I was so upset and mad….I was doing well (no major seizures….lots of lows, but not this bad) and of course I have to have one just before going to the doctors – the doctor I had to wait and beg to get an appointment to see. Of course I did not go/had to cancel….I was worse than slow motion, could barely stand for several hours…..I ruined everything….Even the meeting Dan had in the city with his partners. I feel like such a waste product…and I ruined Dan’s plans to….I am just so mad. Now I have to wait till the doctor has another opening.
So the rest of the day was miserable, I just could not get rid of the pain….Dan and I took a nap (we both were exhausted – I feel bad for Dan) and just stayed home (not that it was bad….escaped the heat), just can’t wait to go to bed and I have no surprises…please just someone give me a break. Dan, I am sorry one more time, thank you for loving me so much to put up with this


Not really, it is miserable out,so hot and humid, just disgusting. Can’t wait to go home and be in the comfort of my own house…..not looking forward to long ride home……so swollen with the salt air and heat, high sugars and bad headache and stomach ache. Need to go to bed early,,,,,,big day in the city tomorrow,,,,Meeting new doctor/specialist. An all day affair……hopefully something good will come out of it. I know there are more test coming….just wonderful. i will take a pain level of 8 right now, this 10 to 11 is getting on my last nerve,,,,,,I wish I could be put out of my misery,,,,,just shoot me!!!!!

Happy July 4th!

Another beautiful day……got up early to get ready for the big pool day. Dan and I were bringing the Margarita’s, big gatorade cooler of them, Dan made them from Scratch….so good and very strong….wiped out most of the people sitting by us…people were passed out by 12:30…Lots of sun, fun and friends….a great group of people. Marcos and Kathleen came up later in the afternoon and hung by the pool…..she looks great, a very happy pregnant mommy and proud daddy to be. After finally getting over feeling big, she enjoyed going in the pool….also because it was so hot. We left the pool and got a bite to eat..came home and we are ready for bed. It was a great day, despite feeling like crap, I managed to have a good time, it was nice to have friends, family and Dan around….and the margaritas helped me forget the pain. I have a funny (I know for a fact) feeling I will pay for it….but what the hell – You only live once.

Great Start To Long Holiday Weekend

Great start to a long holiday weekend…..Sunny, pleasant temperature…beautiful. Looking forward to the weekend…..Have lots to do today…Woke feeling the ususal, pain level is a 9….did’nt get much sleep….was tossing all night, just could not get comfortable.
But I am home and I am not going to let it bother me (easier to deal with not feeling good in the comfort of your own surroundings). On that note, pushed myself to work out, (I am always happy when I do, at least I feel like I accomplished something)…..showered, got dressed and ready to go….only time will tell what happens next…..Hopefully, only good. Keep you posted