Monthly Archives: May 2010

Bye Bye Kobe

Very eventful day. Got the films from my breast examine…there is a lump but the doctor did not get the report from imaging place yet, but at least we have the films, bringing them to Dr. Castro next week to possibly get second opinion (Dr. Castro suggestion) and decide what we are going to do with my kidney situation. Then we took our fury grandson home (Dan is sad, I will miss him too!) Ran to the Meadowlands and stopped by my sister Erika to wish Maya and Bella good luck in their Soccer Tournment. Came home and started to clean the house, the floors, and linens (tried to get a head start so we can possibly relax this weekend.) So far no sugar lows….maybe because my sugars have been in 350′s and 400′s I feel terrible….just before I thought my heart was coming out of my chest and my head is going to explode. I don’t know how much of this I can take….need to talk to Dr. Castro..feel like I am going to have a Heart attack….great something else. Getting ready for bed a long day….Looking forward to a nice weekend, just me and my honey. Maybe we can sleep late and then go to the pool.

Dreary Day

Today is just a dreary day, it is warm and just ulgy out…..alot like the way I feel. I am feeling like crap – stomach and headache, nothing unusual and I just feel ulgy – the pool opens this weekend and I am not ready for the pool. I am pale and not very happy about it…..besides being down in the dumps waiting for the result of test. Either way it is what it is, I have so much going on….WHAT’S ANOTHER THING (NOT REALLY-but I say bring it on). Hopefully the sun will come out…have running around to do with Dan later….showings. One more full day with my grandchild….then he goes home…I am going miss the cutie.

Being A Grandpa Isn’t Easy!

Well, the puppy is adjusting just find, it is really cute and just loves his grandfather. Dan is having so much fun showing him off and doing crazy pictures with dog, in the microwave, bandage up, playing cards and having a beer…just very creative and cute. We need to get bedtime down, and everything will be perfect. Puppies/grandchildren are exhausting….Dan was ready for bed by 9:30. But that is my Dan….always makes me smile. Lauren sent us flowers (beautiful/nice touch) thanking us for taking care of her baby.
Dreary day but the puppy brings sunshine…Thank God for small, cute and fury creatures.lol

Getting Worse

Woke this morning to the fax machine ringing early this morning…the results of blood test, which said that the swelling of my face, hands and ankles is due to kidney problems… which has gotten worse since 3 months ago. Can’t I get a break,,,,,I am so frustrated I could scream…now that means another doctors visit, so they can figure out what they can do to prevent it from getting worse…if they can.
Anyway, went to pick up my fury little grandchild…Kobe (Dan’s daughters dog…he will be staying with us for week,,, he is so cute a tea cup yorkie). He is my shadow, he loves me….Dan is jealous. Going to show him off and take him for a walk….Dan has posted pictures of him on facebook….really funny pictures… Keep you posted.

Why Do I Do This

Why do I go thru all these test and doctors appointment, for what……nothing ever changes and I never get better answers – I am sick of it. Try this, do this, and maybe it will work and then the bad news is – this could happen and you have to prepared to except this when it happens. I am so done….And the worse part is they look to Dan’s opinion…Since when does he have a degree and why are we paying them; it is not fair to him to have that responsibility on his shoulders. I am so angry and frustrated….I just want to stop everything.
Anyway, met my sister for lunch….it was so nice, we were looking for clothes for her….she is begining to become/show that she is pregnant. She looks great.
Dan let me out for 3 hours with her…..was nervous the whole time and was glad when I got home – He missed me

Another Crappy Day

Another day of feeling like crap. I at least was able to sleep without any sugar lows or seizures….except when I woke this morning my sugar was so, so high that my head felt like it was going to explode everytime I moved. Going down to Dan’s parents for the usual Wednesay thing, I know Dan is excited to see his parents since he missed last week due to the election. I hope my headache goes away.

Spoke to my mom, called to see if I heard from my sister Kathleen (pregnant with twins- just found out it is a girl and boy) she was concerned, because she was unable to reach her. Tried to reassure her that she was probably out and about, also told her that she was feeling under the weather, scared with the whole pregnancy thing, the babies health issues, just very hermonal…..and that I was looking to meet with Kathleen within the next day or so for lunch. (Did not get to call her/ will call tomorrow….not feeling good and had a long day,,,just went home and to bed)…Hopefully tomorrow will be better and everything will be calmer (apparently my parents and sister had words),,,,Life is so short to sweat the small things…This is a beautiful time for her and my parents as grandparents again….stupid to waste such precious time. I wish I could have such special times, instead of always feeling crappy.

Lost a Day

Woke this morning feeling terrible, my sugar was 550 and I had a slamming headache. I already knew last night was bad, because I can’t remember much. I know yesterday was busy and that I sat with Dan at an Open House and went to see a unit in our developement to list, and finally went to a clients to get contracts signed. I also remember going to dinner at the diner with two very good friends, it was nice to catch up with them. But after that I don’t remember much or what I do is not making any sense. This frustrates me so much…I hate when I loose time and have to retrace my actions. I am always afraid that I said or did something terrible. Anyway, Dan said I had a bad sugar low and was not very cooperative, I feel bad he has to put up with this and me.

I wish sometimes I could be someone else, or me with out the pain and problems…cause I really love my life with Dan, just wish it was not so limited and complicated. But I guess I should consider myself lucky to have a wonderful husband, good friends, and what left of my mind when it is working. I just remember, I use to be fun….I wish I could get that back, but anyway no sense dwelling on things that are not going to happen. I sorry, just very frustrated and mad. I am venting.

Friday/Saturday

Friday, was a beautiful day and very busy, Dan was showing homes in South Jersey, Brick, to very close friends.They are looking to move into an adult communuity. I was a little nervous about having a problem and didn’t want to cause any problems. Managed to be okay most of the day, felt like crap and my ankles were killing me from the swelling (yes this a new thing, that keeps getting worse) but I was not going to complain – Donna was walking around after having a hip replaced for the sixth time….she is amazing. Went to dinner afterswards and headed home….all and all it was a good day…..and the night comes. Well apparently I had sugar low and was totally disoriented for several hours, made a disaster of my bedroom (throwing pillows off the bed and things off the dresser)….spoke to people that I don’t know who or why…..not a good thing. Finally, Dan got me under control and I went to sleep…..of course this did not help Dan in catching up or me feeling good.

Woke this morning with really bad headache…..Dan got a early start on planting the flowers out front…..always does a beatiful job…..glad he was able to get some therapy(he gardens when he is worried about stuff)….I had another low which I caught…sugar dropped to a 34, caught it and was able to clean up the mess I made before Dan came in for lunch. Went with Dan to show townhouses in our developement….nice couple looking to downsize and need to get their house on market….parents of prior clients…..Now helping Dan get things ready for open house,….hopefully we can take a walk and enjoy the weather…..Dan is freaking out because he can not get caught up…..Can you imagine if he won the election, and had more piled on him. Anyway, I will try to make a nice dinner and get him to calm down…..like that will happen……but I will try!

I’m Very Proud…..But Sad

Well, the end has come to the campaign, and although Dan put forth a great campaign, and he had the support of great friends, he missed by 82 votes. He was 1st and 2nd all the way thru 10 districts, and the last 4 were not good. I was so upset and sad for him, although he didn’t show it, he was upset inside (He just put on his happy face and said, it will be better next time). I feel that he got a raw deal and that people did not play fair, I know that is politics, but still it is not right. So today was very sad, we collected all the campaign signs thru-out the town and threw them away…..Dan was very quite, he tried not to show it and kept saying “at least I did not get crushed”, he received so many calls of best wishes and sorries, that the people of Mahwah made a big mistake….That is so true, I don’t want to hear anyone complain about taxes and the bad in the town, my answer is going to be “if you don’t go vote and voice your thoughts, don’t complain”…..Anyway I am so proud of Dan, I can’t even find the perfect words, he is such an inspiration and the most passionate man I know, He is a rock and he is mine and I am proud of him.
I may be rambling on, just got over having a sugar low….a little hard to get what I am thinking and feeling into words, so please excuse me. I think I will stop now and continue my thoughts tomorrow, feeling pretty sick to my stomach and bad headache…..gonna go to bed, hopefully get a good nite sleep and things will be better tomorrow. Once again I apologize.

The Big Day Is Here

Well it is finally here, the big day or as Dan calls it D Day (Vote for Dan Day). Got up early with Dan – he went out to put out special orange and white Vote for Dan signs….I can tell he is so excited but yet nervous. I know he was overwhelmed (and so was I) by the support of all his friends and co-workers who came to call nite at the office last night to call everyone in town/and their friends to vote for him today (Aurora, Jackie, Patty, Ryia, Mel, Chuck, Donna, Margaret,Ashley,Emily and Steve from Nagoya who gave us Sushi and Sonny& Tony’s gave us pizza) it was great – it showed how much they love and support Dan.
Dan ran a great campaign and I am so proud of him I can not find the words to express how much. It was amazing all the kind words and wishes of luck from clients , friends, just everyone…..I know it made Dan feel good inside and meant so much to him.
Well I have to keep myself good, no problems today – I don’t want embarrass Dan or miss any part of this experience….win or lose, I want to be the exceptionally proud wife by his side……just a couple of more hours to final.
Gotta get myself going ……till later