Category Archives: My Family

New Page & New Pictures

I asked Dan to put a new page on my blog, Contact Kris and Dan. This page gives our mailing address and phone number. I also put about 50 new picture of my family,friends and me………Hope you like them.

Feeling of Accomplishment

I woke today feeling real crappy – which is the normal.  But I had received two wonderful comments from my followers that made were the perfect medicine.  It made me feel a sense of accomplishment and self worth.  I finally felt like I had some purpose, even if it was small, it meant so much to me…….I just want to say Thank you to  Tara and Steven…….you brought a smile to my face…..thanks again.

Healthy meals can still taste good!

Whith the warm weather this week its good to get grill going. I need to eat alot of fish in my diet so here is a GREAT  recipe for grilled Salmon.

Ingredients

For Salmon:
4 skinless salmon fillets (6 ounces each)
1 teaspoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
Coarse salt and ground pepper
For citrus sauce:
1/2 cup fresh orange juice
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
1 teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons olive oil
Coarse salt and ground pepper

Directions

  1. Make citrus sauce: In a small skillet over high heat, boil 1/2 cup fresh orange juice and 1/4 cup fresh lime juice until reduced to 1/2 cup, 8 to 12 minutes.
  2. Remove from heat; whisk in 1 teaspoons sugar, 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard, and 2 tablespoons olive oil. Season with coarse salt and ground pepper. Set aside citrus sauce (makes about 3/4 cup).
  3. Prepare salmon: Heat grill to medium-high. Rub 4 skinless salmon fillets (6 ounces each) with 1 teaspoon olive oil. Sprinkle with 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander; season with coarse salt and ground pepper.
  4. Lightly oil grates; place salmon, skinned side up, on grill. Cover grill; cook 5 minutes. Turn fillets; cover, and cook until opaque throughout and flaky, about 4 minutes more. Serve salmon drizzled with citrus sauce. Dan and  I personally like to eat it over a fresh green salad.

 

Hope you enjoy it!

Of all the things I lost, It is my mind I miss the most!

Just an all around bad two days……. all of sudden I been having sugar lows left and right…….causing my body to ache as if I had a bad seizures and bad memory loss.  I have been trying to remember exactly what I did the last few days……and it seems impossible to put things into place or what exactly what I did.   Dan keeps trying to fill me in, I feel so stupid…..I am so scared.  I keep thinking  “What the hell am I going to be like when I am fifty,  if I am this bad now!”  I just  do not get it.  I eat right, do what I am suppose to do with my insulin injections…..It was nice for awhile,  I was going without any real bad lows or seizures, my memory and confidence was coming back, I felt more stable to talk around people – I knew what I was doing and if I was going low, I was able to catch it and manage it on my own; and then BAM!  I just want to crawl into a hole and die…..I am tired and don’t want to do this anymore- I want to get off the rollercoaster ride….Get off permanently!!!!! I AM SO DONE – JUST DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE .  It makes me sick to think of what my life is going to be like – or what it will be like and I can’t remember it or miss things.    It is so unfair to Dan – he does not deserve this, he is a great guy and deserves so much more……..He did not sign on for this – I am stuck with the cards I was dealt…..he could hand his cards in.  I would not blame him if he did. 

Well enough of my venting……Going to make the best of today.  On that note, I say “Of all the things I lost, it is my mind I miss the most!!”

Another Sunday goes by

Well, this weekend started off okay, yesterday was absolutely beautiful out, a definite tease for the weather – sunny and warm.  So Dan and I started I spring cleaning,,,,,we had lunch on the deck.  We then decided to take a break from cleaning and brought my coat to the furrier in Northvale –  took a nice ride – it was so nice out.  I came home made dinner and we ate outside (I love eating out there – Dan always make it look so beautiful for me – I just hope we will still have it to enjoy the way things are going).  I cleaned up and then took a ride with Dan to Home Depot to get a drill bit for making a hole in one of our big cermaic pots (cobalt blue/real pretty) for proper water drainage.  

And from that point on, well I have been spending  all of Sunday  morning to afternoon trying to remember what happened next.  I had a bad sugar low and can’t remember anything……I just feel the after affects……a slamming headache, my muscles hurt and my   belly is absolutely killing me.   My plans for continuing my spring cleaning have been altered and I just feel horrible not being able to remember.   I look at Dan and he says not to worry, I was not to much trouble…..but I know he is not telling the truth, he looks tired and worried……he has so much on his plate and I just make matters worse.  I just wish I could find a hole and stay there – this way I can not make things worse. 

 Dan keeps saying we have to go into the city for the pump and get it started……I keep saying no – what is the point we can’t afford it and I don’t want to make our financial situation worse……god knows we are struggling and at the rock bottom….next is  have nothing.

The only good thing is we have each other…..for me at least.  He would be better without me – it would be easier.  But he makes me laugh and want to be there for him, as has for me……I wish  I could make things better – even a little.  So another Sunday goes by and a new week starts,  may be someone will hear my  prayers and my dreams of winning the lottery – does not have to be much,- will be answered and I can give back. LOL

  And Dan I just want to tell you, if I have not already……..I LOVE YOU SO MUCH…..THANK YOU …. I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING A BURDEN!

Bitter Sweet

Today is a Bitter Sweet Day, I received a box in the mail today. It was a package with my Insulin pump, I was so happy – all the hard work Dan had done finally arrived, but then a feeling of fear and saddness over came me. The fear of how we were going to pay for the supplies to run it set in. (I told Dan-to forget it at the beginning – I would just take my chances everyday / we are so behind in our bills as it is – we can’t afford it…..he would not hear of it – he said the the key element the “Sensor” will have to come later because the insurance company does not pay for it = which is so stupid it/ it is the most important part – the main piece to the puzzle it will prevent or warn me if I am going to have a seizure and it is not covered and is something we can not afford……..kind of worthless to have a pump and no sensor. It broke my heart to see the look on Dan’s face when I asked him how he were going to pay for it and he said he was working on it and we had to wait for the sensor. So our happy moment was short lived, it seems like nothing is lasting – it just is never meant to be. But I thing only thing I know is definite is the love between the two of us…….the only thing I know we can count on. I wish there was something I could do make things easier and better…..Instead all I can say is “Thank you baby and I love you and I am so grateful for all that you do and try to accomplish to make my life easier and good.”

Quiet and peaceful weekend

It has been a very quiet and peaceful weekend so far. Saturday I had a one major sugar low – Dan did not catch on – I caught it myself – 27 (that was scary – no signs just a bad headache and when I checked = it was a 27). Went with Dan to office – he had floor time, so I sat with him and then went to get ingridents for making home made chicken soup…..Dan made it I helped. Soup is not a favorite food of mine – so my skills are very limited- I watched and learned (will try next time) and then we watched a movie….in between doing my usual chores. Wish the headache would go away from the sugar low…..have a busy day tomorrow – have to go with Dan to show houses in Emerson and run errands.

Well the 4 Alleves did not help – I think it made my head hurt more……my head is pounding, so bad that my hair hurts when it moves.  After we show clients the houses we are going to see about getting my nails done – very, very over due and then come home and make dinner. I think it is going to be chicken tacos and then I want to go for a walk – get started on a schedule to walk at night- now that it is lighter later……Pretty quiet, but always in good company. I just feel bad that Dan has to wait for me to have nails done – wish I could go alone….just sucks that I am such a ball and chain and he is stuck with me, I guess it is okay for him (as it is for me – he is my best girl friend….always make me laugh) providing I am in a good state, no seizures and I  remember what  went on during that time…..then       everything is good.  

I just    he truly knew how much I love him and how I appreciate all he does for me…..he  is a great husband and exceptional man.  I thank God all the time  – he is my rock, my life and reason for waking up……so if I did not say it yet, and you read this  “Dan I love you and thank you for always being there  for you…..I just wish I could do the same for you.”

Well going to clean up after dinner -may take a  quick walk , (I may  wimp out tonight – it is cold out there) make some calls to my sisters and parents,   and then just relax and watch TV –    watch Meatloaf have a meltdown on the Apprentice (sad   but true no life) , get ready for tomorrows events.   Good night!

What a nightmare/so unfair

Well, the last couple of days have been a nightmare – for Dan that is.  We thought is political career was done untill the next election and then the Mayor died.  So being he was the next highest vote getter – he had another / last shot to get appointed on the town council.  Well so we thought, the rules seem to change when you are not a member of the good old boys, and it is so unfair.  The town meeting was packed (about 300), they were having the voting of the mall in Mahwah, and the appointment of the new council member, (people all of sudden coming out of woodwork, a free ride, and the good old boys choice of who  they could get their votes thru…..Dan knew he did not have a shot, (but there was always a maybe and he had all the support, people came out  just to support him…..but he was never even nominated (even though he submitted his paperwork and had the support) his name was never even mentioned…..people were furious and questioning the selection……it was crazy – yelling, name calling, needless to say the it was predetermined who was selected – the new mayors choice of course –  JUST NOT FAIR AND DEFINITELY FIXED.  It just pisses me off and breaks my heart  – for Dan would have been great for the job and would have had the peoples support – if they even had a chance to have a say.  People were appalled – made threats about the next election and where the people will be next time.   My opinion – although I know Dan is down – he is to good of a person to be put in the same class of these low lives – just horrible people.  Dan  laughs like it does not bother him……but I know better.

It is April 1st and snowing – joking right!!!!  My head and stomach are absolutely killing me – I think all the stress and anxiety- also had a sugar low at the meeting –  which made me nervous- took  my last sugar drink there and had no backup……so I was extremely nervous that it would get worse since the meeting ran til 12:45 am…..It was a real long day/night and then when I finally got to sleep – I woke all sweaty with another low. (but at least I was home and able to take care of it – without waking Dan)……So needless to say – got off to bad start in the feeling side of day – the headache is just getting worse .

I have to go food shopping and go to office……..just want to get home…..It is miserable and  cold out.  A Great day to stay in and snuggle……maybe that will be a possiblity and a movie with the love of my life and best friend.

Sunny Sunday

Well, my first day to my new attitude on life. The sun is out, still cold, but at least there is no snow on the ground, and that is a definite good thing. Got up this morning and cleaned, the usual weekend chores. I am happy now, I have a nice clean house, clean sheets and towels, and clean clothes….all is good. My physical being is the usual, just feel like crap – nothing unnormal – had a low this morning- but caught it- Dan did not notice which was a good thing…..Going with him to the office, from there we will decide what we will do for the rest of day…..I think it is going to be a quiet and lazy day. Will have to change the clothes over – seasonal change…..We know how much I love doing that.

Hoping to get started again

Sorry I have not written in a while. Things are just miserable in my world and have not wanted to converse.  I have been really sick, bad headaches, belly aches, some bad lows, memory lost, etc….no seizures, that it is a the only good thing.  Instead now I have new symptoms,  memory lost and disorientation…..I just don’t get it.  I feel and look like crap……and now the spring is coming……diet and getting into shape…..something new to work on and worry about……besides bills, etc……It just seems like the world is going into the crapper……So I have decided to start writing again.  Maybe with the spring coming, nicer weather, things will get better, I will be able to get out more, exercise outside, go for walks with Dan after dinner for exercise and socialization…….Going to make a new start….and make happy things happen or try to!!!!  Life is to short and I am tired of myself…..This is the last day of me complaining and venting……I realize no one really cares, it is my problems and I have to live them.  I am looking forward to this positive attitude, the health is never get better, so I am going to make how I live it a little better…..going to try.  So my new  comment….Everything is Good!!!!  Look forward to writing again…..