Category Archives: My Husband Dan

Happy Hump Day

Another cloudy day……does not look like the sun is going to break through. I am hoping for a good day……positive thinking…..despite having the same bad headache and pains in my stomach. Worked out and did my normal morning routine…… Dan put pump back on my stomach, which really hurt today……got ready and went to office with Dan before 8:30. It is going to be a long day. I have decided to master the program DocuSign……at least attempt to (every time I get one part down….there is an upgrade and change to the program. But I am determined). Yes I am broken and technically handicapped…….just shoot me now!!!!!!

I dread tomorrow…..Have to go into the City for more test on why my organs are starting to have issues and have a monitor inserted in my stomach so they can monitor my sugar levels. I hate going… is the same thing all the time….”There is not much we can do for you… is not going to get better…..we just need to keep watch.” This always makes me feel better…..NOT!!!!!!! I am trying not to think about it now……..Keep saying to myself POSITIVE THOUGHTS……tomorrow is another day….live for now. I can only try and that is what I am doing.

Okay, almost time to go home and still feeling like crap. I must say, even though I have had nothing but positive thoughts……I have not been successful with DocuSign……I am beyond frustrated…..thank god I am leaving soon, because I am about to put my foot thru the screen of my computer……I know I am technically handicapped but REALLY! I am about to pull my hair out……you know what, enough is enough, tomorrow is another day….screw it.

Very Dissappointed

Woke this morning very upset and not knowing where I was or what had happened. My arms and legs were all dissorted and tight….I could not sit up or stand without falling back on the bed, my clothes were drenched in sweat, and when I tried to talk I couldn’t…..I could not speak. I could not remember anything from the night before, and when I looked at Dan I saw this huge bruise on his face and his eye swollen shut…..I new this was bad and something was wrong. Dan was trying to get me to drink a Mango Snapple (high in sugar) but I could not get my hands to work to hold the bottle by myself…..I was beside myself and got all upset. Dan tried to get me calm, he laid next to me, and we slept for a little bit before he had to give a class on presentation to new agents for the company. (He did not say it….but I am sure he was not happy having his face all messed up and no sleep). Besides feeling physically horrible, I was so upset that I hurt Dan…..and got him off to a terrible day……all I could say was I AM SO SORRY……..and Dan being the kind and understanding sole he is, replied…STOP APPOLOGIZING….IT IS OKAY and then made a joke to try and make me feel better. But still I just felt miserable all around.

It seemed to take me forever to get my shit together……but I did manage to get where I need to be…..Everything hurts even to think (writing this is a major effort). Going to go home and try to get myself ready for a new day.

The good thing is Dan’s presentation class was a success…… He said everyone enjoyed the class…..I would not expect anything less from him; he is extremely good at what he does. But most all he is the best husband. I am going home to try to fix up his face………He has to be exhausted and then try to make a nice dinner. I hope there are no more surprises for today!!!!!!! I have the doctors and more tests on Thursday….All seem a waste of time to me they can’t fix my problems but they want to monitor my status.


So thankful it is Friday…….It has been a week of hell. I could use a couple of drinks and the day has just started. This morning I woke up with a bad headache, whereupon I checked my sugar and it was 183 (which was good). I did my normal routine – made Dan breakfast, cleaned up, worked out, got ready to go to the office- checked my sugar again it was 325 (not good – as a result I had a really, really bad headache and pains in my chess)….so I laid down for about 10 minutes. When I got up to check it again it was 29 – it dropped 296 points in 10 minutes- I was shakey and totally out of it… scared me……I could barely open the bottle of mango Snapple and glucose….my hands were shaking as a brought the bottle to my lips to take a sip. Total new for me….cause usually I do not know when I am having a low…….the positive thing is, I caught the low before I had seizure…..thank god. As a result of this mornings events…..I am feeling miserable and scattered, so I am sorry if I am not making sense……my thoughts are also scattered.

A new day

Yes a new day and unfortunately no change in how I feel……which sucks. But I am trying to be positive…..made breakfast for Dan, worked out, and got ready to go into office. A little slow today. I am Feeling a little shakey and scattered….but I am trying. I just wish one day I could feel good or at least normal(the sad thing is , I probably be freaked out since it has been so long…..pretty scary). Oh well no sense complaining……no one cares and nothing is going to change (yes, I know that was negative….I get one negative for the day…..that was it and I am done). So I am just peachy!!!!
Very busy day for Dan in the office….so I kept my distance…..really did not talk to at all. He had a 7:00 pm meeting with an agent from the Tenafly office, so I came home from the office, made myself something to eat for dinner……it felt weird…..for as much as I hate when he is texting/working while having dinner…..I missed it, I was quite lonely. The usual happened like clock work….my stomach was killing me and I just wanted curl up in a ball and die…… that I would not miss. Did some laundry, and just watching TV and waiting for Dan to come home, so he can tell me if the meeting was a success….which I am positive it was…..he is very good at what he does.

June 2 A Beautiful Sunny Morning

I woke this to a beautiful sunny morning…….starting another week. As usual I made Dan his breakfast, bacon and eggs; me my 1/2 a grapefruit and a yogurt. He asked me if I was excited about writing on my blog and the response I have gotten since I started writing again? my response was yes…..but I just wish I could do more. ( Something I need to figure out within myself……and be happy with) Then he asked me what I look forward to (since he was not please with my answer – lack of ethusaim) …..well, this just opened up a can of worms……that he just does not get or ever will. I know it seems ungrateful or selfish or a Debbie downer….but I am not doing what I want…..and not by choice…..It sucks having no independence and doing/going where you want and when. Yes, I understand he doesn’t like to go to work all the time…..but he is doing something he enjoys, he loves and is so good at, that is important. He can come and go as he chooses (except for me the ball and chain)….but he can………………I can not, so sometimes not being happy is what I have to look forward to……which truly sucks. I deal with it, I do not complain to anyone……So all I ask is let me have the right to be mad, and understand there is nothing anyone can do to change it. As long as I do not affect him or anyone else that should be good…….I am not bothering anyone. I am polite, kind and go about my thing……not asking for pity……just going about my business. And yes I look forward to things…….I am looking for our long weekend together and I am grateful for all Dan does for me………It is just not always easy jumping for joy…and being told what to do, go and how to feel……I try to make the best of the situation…..shit there are people that have it good and always bitching. So on that note…….I will just say…..I AM JUST PEACHY!!!!!!
Yes this just started my day off on a positive note.

Its Been A While

Sorry I haven’t written in such a while but only my writing has stopped in this time period not my life. I keep getting messages on this site to see if I’m ok, but they really are asking am I still here and alive. So I promise to start writing again. Here is a quick update of what’s going on in my world.
1. My health? Well that’s has been at best stable at times and after recent tests on a decline with other issues. My liver has to work extra hard since I do not have a pancreas and it is not happy 🙁 My abdomen pain, memory loss, chest pains and seizures alone with lose of feeling in my fingers couples with my increasing lose of freedom is wearing on me. Don’t know how much longer my mind and body can endure.
2. Dan? Well his dad past away in November, he worries about me and now his mom alone in her house, but she won’t move, so we drive each week to Toms River to take care of her. I hate to see Dan work so hard at her house to only get abused by her ungrateful ways but he smiles and says she’s almost 90, its ok. He could spend 5 hours doing yard work for her or cleaning her house top to bottom to only hear from her that she thought he could have gotten other things done on her list. Anyone who knows Dan knows he always has a smile but I know inside he is not always smiling. This life with me drains him. He gets very little sleep checking on me and helping thru the night. His second love (He says second I think first!) is his work. He puts so much into his office and the agents making sure everything is the best it can be, you just wouldn’t believe. The office is growing and getting larger and doing so much better each month. He has that office #1 in Saddle River and doing more and more business and the company is continuously growing in amount of offices and agents.
3. Lauren & Jenny? Lauren is still living in New Orleans area with Joe (who we love!) and Mason (their dog)…. andnworking at a company she absolutely loves as they do her. Jenny graduated from Pace last year! and is working in Tarrytown NY …….but is looking to go in the Pharmaceutical field maybe. Dan and I are so proud of both of them.
4.My Parents? They came in January to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary Dan plan a big dinner for the family at Varka for them…it was a great time but to short of stay. My mom had knee surgery and is doing well with her recovery and Dad is still cancer free. Thank god everything is good with them…..It is just so hard for me……I miss them terribly, wish they lived closer.
5.My Sisters? Erika, Maya and Bella are all good…..Maya is in her 1st year of High School…Bella graduates from 8th grade……and Erika has completed all her schooling and has got her license to practice.
Kathleen, Marcos, Olivia and Marcos are doing well….twins are in pre school going on 4……and are adorable. They love their Uncle Dan so much….and forget about their Aunt Krissy when they can play with him instead.

Well I promise to start writing again and thanks for all the emails asking me what’s up!

Monday Blues!

Just a gray and dreary day. It seems like the sun has been on vacation. I woke this morning with the same headache that I had since Friday……it seems to be getting worse as the day goes on… the point it is making my stomach sick and I am having a hard time staying focused…….I just feel so scattered.

Have to go to my neighbor’s wake……not looking forward to going……I am so sad to think she is gone,,,,,I am going to miss seeing her smiling face. She was a tough woman, such an inspiration for me……she was always on the go, no matter how sick she was or what ever life dealt her. Just an amazing lady, who I will definitely miss.

I definitely have the Monday blues……I feel very sad and depressed today….I don’t know why and cannot shake it. I did not get to exercise this morning….maybe that is it. I find that when I start the day off with my exercises…..I am in a much better mood…..I feel like have accomplished something.

I trying to think what I am going to make for dinner……Dan has a planning board meeting….so it has to be quick and easy. It is going to be a long meeting, as per Dan…….so I will have plenty of time to do my exercise and attempt to do some things around the house, to fill my time.

I spoke to my mom, as I usually do…..(I call her everyday), I wish they did not live so far away…..I miss them. Just looked out the window…..Surprise, Surprise….the sun is out…..Yes,…..the day can get better….Now if I could get rid of the headache, the day would be so much better…..can only hope.

I forgot to mentioned how this weekend went……….Dinner Saturday evening was very nice……great conversation, great couple and good food…..I had a really nice time. Sunday brunch with Jenny in Katonah was fun……looked in some shops and hung out sweet shop and talked afterwards……all together a nice time!!!!!!


I cannot believe it is Friday….where did the week go. Busy day, alot to do and try to get done. I feel some acoomplishment….I worked out (inceased the amount of sit-ups to 375), did 20 minutes on the glider, made breakfast, cleaned up, vaccumed and straighten up the whole house……all by 8:30 this morning ……..I am on a roll, but already exhausted. Picked up a cake to bring to office for Danny K., it is his Birthday!!!!!! Happy Birthday Danny!, he is such a nice man…..he is like me and has to watch his sugar and loves chocolate……..he is my office buddy,he always make me laugh.

Trying to visit my sister Kathleen in the hospital…….waiting for Dan to get free with the office issues and meetings so we can go after work…….and get back in time for our dinner reservations at Varka in Ramsey…….( I hate depending on Dan to drive me places……I miss being able to drive and go places on my own…..Dan is really good about taking me where I want, but he has a job and responsibilites and it is not easy. I hate it and always feel like a tremendous burden….it truly sucks, I miss my independence). Made dinner plans for next Saturday
I am looking forward to dinner at Varka’s with David and Maria………Grilled Octupus!!!! OMG it is so good,,,,,,,,cannot wait….my mouth is already watering. After dinner, I am going to try to squeeze in food shopping……prepare meals for tomorrow, and exercise off dinner. I want to do another 150 and I will have done a total of 500. Now I just hope I can keep increasing the amount and I will see the results….I want to be lean and mean…..with a kick ass bod for the summer… excuses I am determined.

Bringing You Up To Date

I am going to try to bring you up to date in my life, as briefly as possible. My last true entry was on June 13, 2012 where I spoke about changes that were taking place in my life (Dan and I), that we were going to consider.

Well back in July, Dan left RE/MAX Legend in Mahwah and moved to Prominent Properties Sotheby’s International Reality in Saddle River – where Dan is the Broker/Manager…….finally making a change after years of being pursued. Although, I miss my friends at RE/MAX……the change has introduced me to a new group of wonderful people. They have made Dan and I feel so welcome and made the move so smoothe and comfortable. Ellie, especially…..she has been a doll. She is so helpful and is great with both Dan and I. Everybody is just so nice……lots of different personalities, but all warm and loving people. Dan loves it there, and is looking forward to moving the office down the road…….(which is a process……painting, setting floor plans, running electrical lines for computers, furnishing, etc……should be fun…..lots of work and stress to come).

During this move over to a new Company, we (Dan) helped in the relection of Bill Laforte – Mayor of Mahwah, relection of another of 4 years as Mayor. It was fun, and alot of time and hard work; but the rewards are priceless…..we have made friends with people that are now a big part of our lives……very dear and special friends.

Our dearest friend Aurora oldest daughter Melanie got engaged, married and expecting her first – anytime now….we are patiently awaiting the arrival of Vance Ruanne……..Dan and I felt so honored to share in all the family festivities this past year…….It is nice to see the happiness Aurora is feeling…..she was looking forward to this for along time.

Dan and I were able to go away this year to St. Maarten for 10 days…….we had the best vacation. We absolutely just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves……a much deserved vacation. We hung out with our good friend Nina, and made new friends…..everything was just perfect……Health + except for one very costly (sugar low) they were pretty good……I think – we should live there all the time….LOL!!!
Beautiful weather, sun and no stress……..that is were I want to retire,,,,,,,,just paradise……Love it there!!!!

Let’s see….also (this was hard for Dan and I),this Christmas was lonely. For the first time we did not have our girls for Christmas. Lauren moved to Louisanna with her boyfriend to seek a career in Healthcare Management……..and Jenny, went them to help…….It was sad….I really felt bad for Dan…..although he did not say it, he was lost without them……..But I tried to make light of it and said……just think we have a new place to visit……..I am looking forward to visiting… will be really fun.

I am going to have to stop here for now,,,,,,,,I have a terrible stomach/headache……not feeling so good…….Like anything ever changes for me…….but, as usual, I am trying to keep positive. I just look at my calendar for the week……..busy couple days ahead…….Dan gets re appionted to the planning board/ along with the Mayor being sworn in…….meetings and visiting my sister in the Hospital. Hopefully the surgery will be successful and she will no longer be in terrible pain………Just waiting to hear the results.

I Am Back And Making A New Year’s Resolution

Yes I am back!!!!!!
I will be writing again, I promise. I will try to fill you in and you bring you up to date on what has happened in the past few months (alot has happened), and there has been alot of changes in my life, except for my health, which is a constant battle.
Other resolutions I am determined to keep and make happen:
Lost weight and get into shape….I want a kick ass body for pool season this summer…..this is absolute must.
Follow thru with some ideas I have…….sewing and making some clothes, etc…….
Making myself happy….doing things that make me feel good and have self worth
And last not but no least…..most important…..enjoying my life with my loving husband, family, and friends…..I am not going to let my health and pain stand in the way of me feeling happy.

so on that note…..I want to say good-bye to 2012…..and say thank you to my husband/soulmate for getting me thru 2012. I am looking forward to our journey in 2013 ……You are the best!!!! I love you.

And to all my friends and family……a Happy and Healthy 2013.

Love always